I'm a big believer in truth in advertising. Yesterday, while meandering through the local discount store, Ollies, I spied a sign that caught my interest. 15% OFF, proclaimed the sign. I made my way down the aisle to the sign, and discovered the merchandise. Scales...you know, the kind we, especially women, have a tendency to avoid, lest they let out the "secret" that our love affair with the likes of chocolate bars has resulted in extra weight to carry around...yeah, THOSE scales.
Well, I looked at the scales and they looked just like any other I'd seen. So, I wondered, how does this whole thng work? I took one of the scales and placed it on the floor...yes, still in its packaging...(really, you've NEVER done this?) Now, when I stepped on that scale, I was quite disappointed. The little weight indicator shot right up there...all the way to 126...now just one minute please...this scale is supposed to be 15% off... at that rate, I weigh, what, 148 lbs? Dag, I don't need a broken scale!
The store clerk assured me the scale was not broken, but I held to my guns. "It SAYS I weigh 126," I whined, indignantly. "So what is your real weight?" the clerk asked, clearly at a loss for anything more intelligent to say. "I weigh 126 lbs." I answered... The clerk looked lost... I was going to have to play the role of Captain Obvious and explain that under no mathematical law of which I am aware, does 126 minus 15% equal 126....
Well, OK, we all know I didn't REALLY have this conversation with anyone but the silly smart Alec in my own brain, but, I'm sure it would have played out something along those lines, had I ventured to actually engage an Ollies' clerk in such conversation. As it was, mental whiz that I clearly am, I DID realize the sign was indicating the COST of the scale was 15% off, but I ask you this... WHY would I spend good money, even at a 15% discount, on a scale that screams the truth, when, tucked in my bathroom I have my favorite pal...the old scale, retrieved from some neighbor's trash YEARS ago... the one that whispers soothing lies like, "112" when I consult her after stuffing myself wth cake and ice cream? I mean, REALLY folks! There IS a reason those new, accurate scales still sit on the shelf, being marked down week after week...
Nope, you can keep your stinkin' 15% off scale... just as I won't trade in my years broken in, comfortable pillow, neither will I forsake my tactful scale... Sorry, Ollies... maybe another time!
2 comments:
I had to trade in my pillow a few years ago. I had slept on it since I was a kid and I started to get a cough that would NOT go away. After being tested for everything under the sun, the doctor asked about what I was sleeping on. I told him that I was using my pillow from when I was a kid and he said that was the cause of my cough that the stuffing turned to DUST and I was breathing that in every night. I'm still sad, I miss that pillow. Hope you are mending.
Oh... no fun, kat! Well, yeah, once your get a comfortable pillow, it is sooooo hard to give it up! Hope your new one is shaping up!
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