Funny what our parents tell us to help us deal with the oddities with which we are afflicted. I was born cross-eyed, with severe vision problems. I had surgery at eight months old and began wearing glasses when I was 10 months old. I’ve worn glasses all my life. I’ve been called four-eyes, and other equally imaginative names.
I started talking at eight months old and had a lisp. I carried that lisp with me until I was 15 years old. Now, these “defects” might have been what most would consider that which made me “odd.” But I did not. My glasses were like skin to me, and I didn’t hear my lisp…therefore, to me, it did not exist.
No, the defect which caused me much concern was my forehead. Yes, dear friends, for I was blessed with a gigantic one. My brothers and sister’s foreheads were normal…but mine was HUGE. To this day I can recall my dear, sweet, gigantic foreheaded father explaining to me that the large forehead was a sign of intelligence.
Yes, I hear you laughing out there in the peanut gallery. I mean, who would believe such rot? But my father told me this, so I believed.
I spent the rest of my academic life trying to uphold the promise my gigantic forehead had made to the world!
One day I’ll write about my feet, but that’s a different story entirely!
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