I recall as a youngster never really being too worried about exams. Now this is not to imply I was sure I would do well on them or that I was some sort of genius or other -- quite the contrary. No, I just was never too hung up on the concept of cramming a lot of information into my head for the purpose of regurgitation onto paper as the goal of an education. If the knowledge I was gaining wasn't sufficient, and my understanding thereof wasn't accurate, no pressure of the exam would change those facts. No, I always imagined exams were tools to allow ME to determine my actual level of knowledge, or at least my alignment with the teacher's understanding of the material.
So, against the recommendations of parents, teachers and such, I would not "cram" before an exam. I either knew the material, or I didn't. And even if I WERE successful in cramming all of those notes into my brain for the necessary time required to allow leakage onto the exam paper, once that flow started it almost always left my brain entirely. So, cramming was pretty much a guarantee I would not retain the information.
My preferred method was to listen, take notes, ask questions and verify my understanding as I went along. Before the exam, a simple read-through of the material to be covered helped me define boundaries, and, if there WAS still something I wanted clarification on, I could research the answer. That was "back in the day..." Back then the research of such last minute tidbits was constrained by the availability of resources...pretty much, if the answer wasn't in the required textbook, I had the option of consulting the Britannica Encyclopedia, or asking my parents.... Since asking my parents a question on subject matter the night before a big exam would typically bring on lectures of being better prepared, I generally opted for Britannica....
Things are quite different today. Armed with my BA and MS degrees and many years of absence from the classrooms, I find myself, over 50 and trying to learn as if I were still 15. I am frustrated by the presentation of the materials in the classes offered and required for becoming "certified" in technical areas, and yet these certifications are critical to my employment stability.
Hence, I dutifully attend the classes, take my notes, and, with 4 long days of class and equally long nights of completing the assignments, I am faced this morning with the exam. Now, under NO circumstances would I consider anyone who has just been introduced to this subject matter to be competent on the material four days later. It would seem the goal is to effectively cram the information into my head, successfully regurgitate it on paper within the 2-hour time constraint, and then, MAYBE, revisit the material in the weeks to come, allowing myself the opportunity to actually LEARN the material.
The upside down approach to learning, I have discovered, leaves me with something I simply do not recall from my youth... test anxiety. Well, so I also discover the more I cram, the more anxiety I experience... there is just something that nature mandates in these situations.... you simply cannot teach an old dog new tricks.
So this morning, after spending the first waking hours trying to cram this stuff into my resistant brain, I decided the better approach was to simply put it away. The exam will start whether I am prepared or not. I will take the exam whether I am prepared or not. And I will either pass or fail. None of these things change the fact that my competent UNDERSTANDING of the material will occur, oh, I dunno, maybe a month or two down the road....
And with that, I suppose I should pack up my belongings, check out of the hotel and head over to the pre-exam "Q&A" session to be held during the 30 minutes immediately prior to the exam..... I'm sure I can confuse myself just a little further if I can add someone else's confusion to my own....
Wish me luck!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Poison Ivy -- jcarolek
In my more than 50 years on this planet, I have not, until a few weeks ago, had the opportunity to experience that simple pleasure of an allergic reaction to poison ivy. I presume that is, indeed, what this was/is, though I could not bring myself to pay for a medical opinion. What I do know is this. It started as a little tiny spot on my leg that was pretty itchy... but I mean it was TINY, like no bigger than a pinhead. I have already plucked off several ticks this season and presumed this was just another tick bite or spider bite or, well, you get it.
By the next morning, my little spot was much bigger and much itchier and I began to suspect this was something new and different. There were blisters appearing in the brilliant red patches and what had been confined to one inner thigh (don't EVEN ask me how, since I was wearing double layers with overalls while working in the yard and woods) was now taking over both thighs... I had another spot on my forehead and one in my eyebrow and down to the edge of the eye... and several on my arms.... By this time, I was pretty certain I was suffering from the poison ivy rash and decided the typical over-the-counter remedies would be my best bet.
I cannot say the concoctions I purchased were particularly helpful. The rash kept spreading was REALLY unsightly.... I'm not exactly a vain person, but even I was glad it wasn't shorts weather yet! The one thing that seemed to really be effective for me in the ability to tolerate this new affliction was benedryl. One tablet worked pretty well to control the itching and hence the scratching....
I was thrown back nearly twenty years to the time when my children were young and my daughter, then about eight years old, developed some little spot, which itched and spread and which, before long, covered a good portion of her body. By the time we attended a 4th of July get together with family friends, Jenn was really quite a sight! My friend, a nurse, told me it looked as if Jenn had started out with poison ivy, but had what looked to her like a case of impetigo... not having a clue, but heeding her advice, I took Jenn to the doctor the next day. There, the condition was confirmed and medications prescribed.
For the next week or so, several times a day, the ointments had to be applied to the infected areas of Jenn's face, arms, legs and less convenient and embarrassing locations... her father and I took turns applying the ointment, as Jenn protested indignantly. On one evening, as James was applying the ointment to her face, Jenn shared with him, "this hurts worse than childbirth..." I wonder if she will hold to that when, in fact she does experience THAT!
At any rate, I am now, I believe, rid of the poison ivy. The skin has a "new" look to it, but is surprisingly, still itchy. Not nearly as bad as it was, but itchy, nonetheless. I sincerely hope this is something that will, eventually ease up! I guess life is always full of new experiences, and I should count my lucky stars I lived nearly 52 years before falling victim to the leaves of three, but, well....
Still, I won't let a little poison ivy deter me from enjoying the great outdoors, the goats and the TONS of work still ahead of me in taming the old farmhouse and ten acres upon which she sits!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Raining in Maryland -- jcarolek
I'm traveling again -- taking a required training for work and having a pretty good time. I know everyone in the class and, since many of us are mainly telecommuters, we don't get a chance to see each other very often. The class is lively, with excellent discussions and a whole lot of learning going on. I'm not sure the instructors are always fully appreciative of our particular brand of humor, but, nonetheless, they tolerate us.
The drive up Sunday was a glorious one, weather-wise. Before leaving town I met my son and daughter-in-law for Mother's Day Lunch in Yorktown. I think it had been three months or more since we'd shared a meal and we had a good time catching up. Some of the topics were not the normal fare for a Mother's Day lunch, but they didn't dampen the occasion.
When I returned home, just long enough to pack for the trip out of town, I discovered my daughter had called, so, on my way here we chatted. I have to admit, I truly enjoy talking with my grown children. I cannot imagine having youngsters anymore, and one day I look forward to having grandchildren, but for now, I am completely good with having adult, responsible, intelligent children with whom to converse.
I was trying to determine if there was a moment that I discovered their transition from the teen/young 20's to what I would classify as truly "adult" and I simply cannot identify such a moment. I suppose it is just one of those "ahha" moments when I realize I am no longer explaining and giving advise, and trying to help them with their latest catastrophe on every call... that moment when I realize I am gaining as much insight from their observations as I have always tried to share with mine... and it is one of the best Mother's Day gifts a mother could ask for.
The drive was a long one. Virginia was fine, with little to no traffic on the back road route I had selected, but once I crossed the bridge into Maryland, it was a different story. Bumper to bumper traffic the rest of the way was the name of the game. At least we were moving. My cohorts who traveled up I-95 were stuck in non-moving gridlock for hours....
I was happy to pull into the hotel, shortly after dark and was checked into my room a few minutes later. That night I went to bed early (for me) just after midnight, and awakened at 2:33 am, completely at a loss as to where I was. I did not recognize a thing and it took me what seemed like minutes in that half-awake state to figure out I was in a hotel room! Too much stress, I suppose. It takes its toll.
Monday was a long day, and chilly outside, so being stuck inside, even though the sun was shining gloriously, did not bother me at all. Today, on the other hand, it started raining here around noon and they say we should expect this rainy weather the rest of the week. Well, I don't much mind. I have a lot of studying to do and such, so being distracted by lovely weather would not serve me well. My spirits today are a little better than yesterday when I discovered the latest volley from Conflicted Counsel awaiting me in my Incoming Mail online... today I had no such correspondences, but neither did I have any positive ones from my own attorney... I am afraid he is just not the "go-getter" I need....
So tonight, I will spend my time studying, enjoying the drizzle outside the window.... and looking forward to the days when this whole divorce thing is behind me.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
You Will Need to Raise the House Two Inches -- jcarolek
The old farmhouse project has been an interesting one so far. I can assure you, everything costs at least double what I think it should cost, and every tradesman I have perform some work for me, leaves me with more work to do. There is a law of the universe in there somewhere, but the precise wording of that law eludes me just now. Suffice to say, it is akin to Murphy's Law -- if it can go wrong, so it shall.
I have hired all kinds of folks to help me get to a point where I can live in the apartment over the garage and work on the old farmhouse in my leisure. I have tried to "go local" helping sustain the local economy. So far I have had:
1. about a dozen loads of "road dirt" and gravel delivered to the property in an attempt to create driveable roads on the property -- good guy, friendly, personable... had to pull his dump truck out of the mud twice, forgot to raise his trailer jack stand when he was leaving, after using his tractor to create my roads, and dug a nice deep groove down the center of my approximately 500 foot long driveway....oh well, what's one more rut?
2. gutters installed on the old farmhouse and the modern garage to help divert the water away from the foundations and route it out to what will, one day, be the pond....nice enough guy, clearly NOT a long-term gutter installation guy, despite his truck advertising that promotes his talents...put the ends on backwards, and had one corner, a very critical corner of the guttering, that leaked badly....came back twice to repair it without luck...and told me, "Judy, you will need to raise the house two inches to get the gutter corner to not leak..." Yes, yes, of course I thought he was kidding... he was not...he was quite serious! Well, I might well be raising the house to repair the failing floor joists, but I seriously doubt I will be raising the house to correct a gutter installation.....
3. a water softening system installed -- got a pretty good deal on Craigslist, and the guy installed it while I was at church one Sunday...bartered with him, getting a discount on the system and installation in return for selling him the swingset that was on the property....when I got to the site to see the work he'd done, it was pretty good...OK, one of the pipe connections leaked, but other than that, AND the fact that he took the old water softener without asking (I had him return it to me) AND the fact that he left my poor wet yard with two MORE gigantic, ugly ditches from where HIS truck sank trying to get the swingset out....well, maybe NOT such a good deal on Craigslist, after all....
4. an office trailer I bought for my eBay operation from a guy on Craigslist, moved to the property ....got a decent deal, my new neighbors offered to move it to my property, and the seller promised to have everything in working order so it could be towed...again, I was at church when the actual move occurred...and the seller had NOT fixed the trailer jack stand so it could be adjusted...so, it was more work for the guys moving it, AND yet another thing to fix....not high priority, so it will settle to the bottom of the to-do list...
5. a new pressure tank installed -- mine gave out about two weeks after I started living here...the plumber was very good and reasonably priced and did clean up after himself...but he took the head from my old water softener...he DID ask later, if it was OK that he took it, but really... what is with these people?
6. hughesnet high speed satellite service moved from my old house to this property....installer declared the dish already mounted on the chimney here would not work... needed to install a new pole....OK...$125 for a $20 pole...seriously... AND he ran the cable right across one of my open tranches I had dug for water diversion...now I get to either creatively go under the cable, or find a way to lengthen the cable... UGH... job cost me twice what was quoted, the guy put the pole in a different location from what I authorized....
7. carport installed next to the garage....12 X 31 lean-to style....after waiting more than six weeks from the date of ordering, last Tuesday was my big installation day...three industrious men arrived and I showed them where I wanted it...they asked if they could start the front, about 20 inches forward from where I had marked, and I deferred to their expertise....I left for my 3-hour meeting with my divorce attorney and returned to find a lovely carport....with one of the legs positioned DIRECTLY in the middle of the walk-through door to the garage...UMMMMM.....I really could not believe my eyes, but it was so, and the three industrious men were long gone.... I wrote a letter of complaint to Carolina Carports, including photos of the clever installation, and today, having received no response from the company, pulled up the 2 1/2 foot pegs and had a friend with a winch move the whole building back 20 inches...
And...just BECAUSE mine is a Murphy's Law kind of life, Friday, at the P/L hearing for my divorce, the judge would not hear any "fault" arguments (that has to wait for the "equitable distribution hearing")...and did NOT look at the sheet I was required to complete that specified all of my monthly income and bills...all he cared about was my salary, John's salary, mortgage payments and car payments... and with that, he ruled that I have to pay John, the man who NEVER would work during our marriage, $2200 per month in spousal support, retroactive to February 15, 2010...and maintain his health insurance for him at my expense....UMMMM...where exactly am I supposed to come up with this money, I wonder??? Well, OK, I suppose I will be able to write more blog entries from a jail cell when they incarcerate me for non-payment of "spousal support." GEEZ!
Well, but today was another day...I got the opportunity to work myself ragged to afford to maintain John's lifestyle, while I try to make livable the old farmhouse....so I can MAYBE sell the other house....so I can lessen my financial burden....while John sits on his butt, doing nothing, as he has for more than 10 years now...claiming, "I cannot leave my comfort zone" as his latest excuse for not being able to work...
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but this is one wacko world....tradesmen that charge thousands for work that is pathetically performed, attorney's who want to settle so badly, they allow crazy awards to deadbeat leaches, and deadbeat leaches who SERIOUSLY act as if they are OWED something because they managed to be abusive, drunks who refused to contribute to the acquisition of the assets they now CLAIM as 50% theirs, and the Commonwealth of Virginia, who stipulates that "the award of spousal support is not to punish the spouse paying the support, but to lessen the financial impact of divorce on the spouse with the lower salary.".....UMMMMM... well, OK, but Really, isn't this sort of like the guy who wants me to raise the house to fix his poorly installed gutters?
But, I am sure, one day I will look back on all of this and have a good laugh....
Nevertheless, I am enjoying the old farmhouse and the couple of goats that are WAY more trouble than I am sure they are worth!
I have hired all kinds of folks to help me get to a point where I can live in the apartment over the garage and work on the old farmhouse in my leisure. I have tried to "go local" helping sustain the local economy. So far I have had:
1. about a dozen loads of "road dirt" and gravel delivered to the property in an attempt to create driveable roads on the property -- good guy, friendly, personable... had to pull his dump truck out of the mud twice, forgot to raise his trailer jack stand when he was leaving, after using his tractor to create my roads, and dug a nice deep groove down the center of my approximately 500 foot long driveway....oh well, what's one more rut?
2. gutters installed on the old farmhouse and the modern garage to help divert the water away from the foundations and route it out to what will, one day, be the pond....nice enough guy, clearly NOT a long-term gutter installation guy, despite his truck advertising that promotes his talents...put the ends on backwards, and had one corner, a very critical corner of the guttering, that leaked badly....came back twice to repair it without luck...and told me, "Judy, you will need to raise the house two inches to get the gutter corner to not leak..." Yes, yes, of course I thought he was kidding... he was not...he was quite serious! Well, I might well be raising the house to repair the failing floor joists, but I seriously doubt I will be raising the house to correct a gutter installation.....
3. a water softening system installed -- got a pretty good deal on Craigslist, and the guy installed it while I was at church one Sunday...bartered with him, getting a discount on the system and installation in return for selling him the swingset that was on the property....when I got to the site to see the work he'd done, it was pretty good...OK, one of the pipe connections leaked, but other than that, AND the fact that he took the old water softener without asking (I had him return it to me) AND the fact that he left my poor wet yard with two MORE gigantic, ugly ditches from where HIS truck sank trying to get the swingset out....well, maybe NOT such a good deal on Craigslist, after all....
4. an office trailer I bought for my eBay operation from a guy on Craigslist, moved to the property ....got a decent deal, my new neighbors offered to move it to my property, and the seller promised to have everything in working order so it could be towed...again, I was at church when the actual move occurred...and the seller had NOT fixed the trailer jack stand so it could be adjusted...so, it was more work for the guys moving it, AND yet another thing to fix....not high priority, so it will settle to the bottom of the to-do list...
5. a new pressure tank installed -- mine gave out about two weeks after I started living here...the plumber was very good and reasonably priced and did clean up after himself...but he took the head from my old water softener...he DID ask later, if it was OK that he took it, but really... what is with these people?
6. hughesnet high speed satellite service moved from my old house to this property....installer declared the dish already mounted on the chimney here would not work... needed to install a new pole....OK...$125 for a $20 pole...seriously... AND he ran the cable right across one of my open tranches I had dug for water diversion...now I get to either creatively go under the cable, or find a way to lengthen the cable... UGH... job cost me twice what was quoted, the guy put the pole in a different location from what I authorized....
7. carport installed next to the garage....12 X 31 lean-to style....after waiting more than six weeks from the date of ordering, last Tuesday was my big installation day...three industrious men arrived and I showed them where I wanted it...they asked if they could start the front, about 20 inches forward from where I had marked, and I deferred to their expertise....I left for my 3-hour meeting with my divorce attorney and returned to find a lovely carport....with one of the legs positioned DIRECTLY in the middle of the walk-through door to the garage...UMMMMM.....I really could not believe my eyes, but it was so, and the three industrious men were long gone.... I wrote a letter of complaint to Carolina Carports, including photos of the clever installation, and today, having received no response from the company, pulled up the 2 1/2 foot pegs and had a friend with a winch move the whole building back 20 inches...
And...just BECAUSE mine is a Murphy's Law kind of life, Friday, at the P/L hearing for my divorce, the judge would not hear any "fault" arguments (that has to wait for the "equitable distribution hearing")...and did NOT look at the sheet I was required to complete that specified all of my monthly income and bills...all he cared about was my salary, John's salary, mortgage payments and car payments... and with that, he ruled that I have to pay John, the man who NEVER would work during our marriage, $2200 per month in spousal support, retroactive to February 15, 2010...and maintain his health insurance for him at my expense....UMMMM...where exactly am I supposed to come up with this money, I wonder??? Well, OK, I suppose I will be able to write more blog entries from a jail cell when they incarcerate me for non-payment of "spousal support." GEEZ!
Well, but today was another day...I got the opportunity to work myself ragged to afford to maintain John's lifestyle, while I try to make livable the old farmhouse....so I can MAYBE sell the other house....so I can lessen my financial burden....while John sits on his butt, doing nothing, as he has for more than 10 years now...claiming, "I cannot leave my comfort zone" as his latest excuse for not being able to work...
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but this is one wacko world....tradesmen that charge thousands for work that is pathetically performed, attorney's who want to settle so badly, they allow crazy awards to deadbeat leaches, and deadbeat leaches who SERIOUSLY act as if they are OWED something because they managed to be abusive, drunks who refused to contribute to the acquisition of the assets they now CLAIM as 50% theirs, and the Commonwealth of Virginia, who stipulates that "the award of spousal support is not to punish the spouse paying the support, but to lessen the financial impact of divorce on the spouse with the lower salary.".....UMMMMM... well, OK, but Really, isn't this sort of like the guy who wants me to raise the house to fix his poorly installed gutters?
But, I am sure, one day I will look back on all of this and have a good laugh....
Nevertheless, I am enjoying the old farmhouse and the couple of goats that are WAY more trouble than I am sure they are worth!
Monday, April 12, 2010
No Kidding -- jcarolek
I decided to get some kids to help with the yard work. I looked on-line, on Craigslist to see who was selling some and found several. Only one was truly local, so I contacted her to get the details. That was Friday.
On Saturday we worked on building small enclosures for the kids to hang out in, you know, to get out of the rain and such. As seems to be the norm, nightfall interrupted our progress, and the remainder of the construction had to be put off.
Today, was the day we were to meet the kids for the first time. We arrived early afternoon and I was impressed with the set-up. The parents were on-site and mingled with the kids. Everyone looked happy and healthy. The folks selling the kids were very nice and we spent more than an hour there, learning about the basics of raising kids. When we left, it was with the assurance they would help us any way they can... all we need do is call.
Back at the farmhouse, excited to see the kids frolicking about, I hooked leads around trees and hooked each kid's collar to the lead. The male screamed indignantly at this collar on his neck and the constraint of the lead, and he wasn't crazy about the fact his mother wasn't there, either! He bucked and squawked and cried in his loud voice.
Next was his sister. Smaller than her brother, but every bit as indignant, the female fought the collar and lead, but with more success than her brother. In less than a minute, she had escaped her collar and bolted from the "safe ground" where I had determined they should start their familiarization with their new home. Horrified, I grabbed some of the feed and headed over to try to coax her back. My friend suggested we just leave the two alone, and go about our business. His thought was the two would stick together, even though one was completely free to run off.
As it turned out, my friend was right (of course) and as we built a temporary fence to corral them for the night, they stuck together, enthusiastically munching the undergrowth of the woods...doing the work for which I had purchased them. An hour or so later, the fence was up and we led the male inside. As anticipated, the female took only about two minutes to run into the open "gate" to be with her brother. And with that, we had them both corralled.
Tonight is their first night in the new place and we'll see how they do. When I left them, they were getting comfortable on the straw. Their temporary shelters are there, in case it should rain, but when I pulled out, they were sleeping under the tree on the straw.
And so begins the adventure.... the farm has its first two farm animals....
And even though I spent 20 years raising children, I'm only now entering the brave new world of raising kids..... no kidding.
On Saturday we worked on building small enclosures for the kids to hang out in, you know, to get out of the rain and such. As seems to be the norm, nightfall interrupted our progress, and the remainder of the construction had to be put off.
Today, was the day we were to meet the kids for the first time. We arrived early afternoon and I was impressed with the set-up. The parents were on-site and mingled with the kids. Everyone looked happy and healthy. The folks selling the kids were very nice and we spent more than an hour there, learning about the basics of raising kids. When we left, it was with the assurance they would help us any way they can... all we need do is call.
Back at the farmhouse, excited to see the kids frolicking about, I hooked leads around trees and hooked each kid's collar to the lead. The male screamed indignantly at this collar on his neck and the constraint of the lead, and he wasn't crazy about the fact his mother wasn't there, either! He bucked and squawked and cried in his loud voice.
Next was his sister. Smaller than her brother, but every bit as indignant, the female fought the collar and lead, but with more success than her brother. In less than a minute, she had escaped her collar and bolted from the "safe ground" where I had determined they should start their familiarization with their new home. Horrified, I grabbed some of the feed and headed over to try to coax her back. My friend suggested we just leave the two alone, and go about our business. His thought was the two would stick together, even though one was completely free to run off.
As it turned out, my friend was right (of course) and as we built a temporary fence to corral them for the night, they stuck together, enthusiastically munching the undergrowth of the woods...doing the work for which I had purchased them. An hour or so later, the fence was up and we led the male inside. As anticipated, the female took only about two minutes to run into the open "gate" to be with her brother. And with that, we had them both corralled.
Tonight is their first night in the new place and we'll see how they do. When I left them, they were getting comfortable on the straw. Their temporary shelters are there, in case it should rain, but when I pulled out, they were sleeping under the tree on the straw.
And so begins the adventure.... the farm has its first two farm animals....
And even though I spent 20 years raising children, I'm only now entering the brave new world of raising kids..... no kidding.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
A New Gate and Some Old Floors -- jcarolek
The past few weeks have been busy. The old farmhouse, charming as she is, or at least, as she will be after a lot of work, is still a very old structure, sitting on some very wet ground. It is clear to me that her former inhabitants did not experience the record-breaking rainfalls we have experienced in these past few months. What with all of the snow and rain, the tasks we had to undertake prior to even getting to the house renovation, included many, many truckloads of road dirt and gravel, installing rain gutters on the main structure and the detached garage, emergency septic system repairs, and over 500 feet of trenching, dug with shovels, to divert the excessive water away from the structures and the overwhelmed septic system.
Now, understand, all of this work had to be performed after my regular job working hours. Suffice to say, digging trenches in the dark, working on septic tanks and drain fields in the dark, became the norm. Add to this schedule, the hours and hours of time spent in the divorce process, and I can honestly say, I was burning the candle at at least three ends!
April 1 was my first court date. I was attempting to have my husband's attorney removed on the grounds that by representing my husband, having previously represented me in my first divorce, as well as in several real estate transactions, and in dealings regarding my current home, this attorney was operating under a clear conflict of interest. As it turned out, there was only one witness in the motion to dismiss hearing (me) and both my current attorney and this attorney whom I had employed variously over a 12 year, questioned me. The judge asked me some questions and then asked both counsel to join him in chambers. When he returned, he did what I knew he'd do, the minute he entered the court that day. He declined to remove this attorney as my husband's counsel.
While this might sound a little odd to the casual observer, I mean, no fewer than three qualified attorneys had provided me opinions that this attorney SHOULD have declined to accept the case, what is not as obvious is the local, small town, good old boy environment. What I do know is there was no court reporter in the room, nor any mechanical recording being performed. Though I was sworn in and was testifying under oath, there is no transcript of either my words or those of the attorneys or the judge...... I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this whole process that results in a judge's decision, without any official record of what was said...under oath, or otherwise. At any rate, I will be appealing etc........
In early March, my husband had called begging me to work out a settlement agreement with him, which, again, I spent MANY hours trying to do. In the end, and even though the settlement agreement was EXACTLY what he'd said he wanted, he did not follow through...in fact, 10 days after he called, requesting the settlement, he abruptly stopped his correspondence. I suppose his greed simply overtook him and he is certain he will be awarded better terms by the courts. We'll just have to wait and see. Nevertheless, I did NOT appreciate the additional waste of time this little exercise afforded me.
Still, I kept working toward getting into my old farmhouse, and kept my eye on the treasures being offered up on Craigslist -- treasures that would be useful at the old farmhouse. Last Saturday included a trip to a nearby town where my friend and I secured some tools from one such Craigslist seller. We hit it off with this seller, Hank, and made plans to get together again this past Saturday to play some music and share a pizza.
Before I knew it, we were in Holy Week and choir practice and church services took over. Still, Saturday we made the time to enjoy a beautiful afternoon of music and shared meal with Hank and his wife at their home. The weather was finally delightful, the rain taking a well-earned vacation for a few days.
We left Hank's and headed to the old farmhouse to drop off our latest Craigslist "finds". My new neighbor was in his yard as we drove up and he and his wife invited us to eat some supper with them. I still had a little time before I had to leave for Easter Vigil service, so, though not hungry, we accepted the invitation and shared a second meal in a single day with new friends. Technically, we did not get a lot of work done on Saturday, but the day of rest was very welcome.
Easter Day dawned another beauty and, after the morning service, it was yet another trip to another Craigslist "find." This time, the seller had some hinges that could be used in some of the old farmhouse projects. When he was selling us the hinges, the seller, Charlie, asked, "If you don't mind my asking, what are you going to do with all of these hinges." We explained about the old farmhouse I had recently purchased and which my friend is helping me renovate, and Charlie got real excited. He told us the story of the old farmhouse in which he'd been raised, the farm owned by his grandparents, and on which is now a huge mall. He described his sadness at the old farmhouse being torn down and told us of his father's determination to keep and reuse everything that was able to be salvaged. Charlie then produced a box full of beautiful, century old door handles with porcelain knobs, and locks from the doors in that old farmhouse. This little box of treasures he GAVE to me to use in the renovation.
Back at the my old farmhouse that Easter afternoon, we installed the gate I'd purchased nearly a month ago, but which had sat patiently awaiting installation -- taking its turn behind all of the "water related tasks." And after the gate installation, it was on to the task that had us intrigued from the very beginning. The tearing up of the sagging floor of the old farmhouse. The task is not an easy one. Others have performed "updating" over the years, and their updating, though presumably intended to improve the home, actually only succeeded in covering up some problems that should have been addressed. We intend to address them.
The filthy carpet and underlying padding were removed first, exposing OSB board, likely installed in the 1980's or 1990's. Under the OSB was another layer of carpet, this a VERY colorful pattern of reds and oranges and probably from the late 70's or early 80's. Below this layer of colorful carpet we found the original floorboards.....in VERY bad repair, showing damage from both water and termites/insects. Of course we already knew we'd find the damaged floor joists, and that is why we decided to expose the beams and joists by removing all of the first story flooring..... We managed to pull up 2 1/2 sections out of a total of 14 sections in the living room.... The going was much slower than speculated, and I think it will be VERY likely I will STILL be writing about this floor repair a month from now...
At the end of the day, as I crawled into bed and reflected on my Easter, I decided it was a good one indeed. No, it did not include the traditional Easter dinner at Dad's with the rest of the family. But the morale boost of FINALLY being able to install the gate, and start the floor removal in the old farmhouse, was long overdue. The meals and music shared Saturday helped make my Easter weekend a truly lovely one.
Now, understand, all of this work had to be performed after my regular job working hours. Suffice to say, digging trenches in the dark, working on septic tanks and drain fields in the dark, became the norm. Add to this schedule, the hours and hours of time spent in the divorce process, and I can honestly say, I was burning the candle at at least three ends!
April 1 was my first court date. I was attempting to have my husband's attorney removed on the grounds that by representing my husband, having previously represented me in my first divorce, as well as in several real estate transactions, and in dealings regarding my current home, this attorney was operating under a clear conflict of interest. As it turned out, there was only one witness in the motion to dismiss hearing (me) and both my current attorney and this attorney whom I had employed variously over a 12 year, questioned me. The judge asked me some questions and then asked both counsel to join him in chambers. When he returned, he did what I knew he'd do, the minute he entered the court that day. He declined to remove this attorney as my husband's counsel.
While this might sound a little odd to the casual observer, I mean, no fewer than three qualified attorneys had provided me opinions that this attorney SHOULD have declined to accept the case, what is not as obvious is the local, small town, good old boy environment. What I do know is there was no court reporter in the room, nor any mechanical recording being performed. Though I was sworn in and was testifying under oath, there is no transcript of either my words or those of the attorneys or the judge...... I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this whole process that results in a judge's decision, without any official record of what was said...under oath, or otherwise. At any rate, I will be appealing etc........
In early March, my husband had called begging me to work out a settlement agreement with him, which, again, I spent MANY hours trying to do. In the end, and even though the settlement agreement was EXACTLY what he'd said he wanted, he did not follow through...in fact, 10 days after he called, requesting the settlement, he abruptly stopped his correspondence. I suppose his greed simply overtook him and he is certain he will be awarded better terms by the courts. We'll just have to wait and see. Nevertheless, I did NOT appreciate the additional waste of time this little exercise afforded me.
Still, I kept working toward getting into my old farmhouse, and kept my eye on the treasures being offered up on Craigslist -- treasures that would be useful at the old farmhouse. Last Saturday included a trip to a nearby town where my friend and I secured some tools from one such Craigslist seller. We hit it off with this seller, Hank, and made plans to get together again this past Saturday to play some music and share a pizza.
Before I knew it, we were in Holy Week and choir practice and church services took over. Still, Saturday we made the time to enjoy a beautiful afternoon of music and shared meal with Hank and his wife at their home. The weather was finally delightful, the rain taking a well-earned vacation for a few days.
We left Hank's and headed to the old farmhouse to drop off our latest Craigslist "finds". My new neighbor was in his yard as we drove up and he and his wife invited us to eat some supper with them. I still had a little time before I had to leave for Easter Vigil service, so, though not hungry, we accepted the invitation and shared a second meal in a single day with new friends. Technically, we did not get a lot of work done on Saturday, but the day of rest was very welcome.
Easter Day dawned another beauty and, after the morning service, it was yet another trip to another Craigslist "find." This time, the seller had some hinges that could be used in some of the old farmhouse projects. When he was selling us the hinges, the seller, Charlie, asked, "If you don't mind my asking, what are you going to do with all of these hinges." We explained about the old farmhouse I had recently purchased and which my friend is helping me renovate, and Charlie got real excited. He told us the story of the old farmhouse in which he'd been raised, the farm owned by his grandparents, and on which is now a huge mall. He described his sadness at the old farmhouse being torn down and told us of his father's determination to keep and reuse everything that was able to be salvaged. Charlie then produced a box full of beautiful, century old door handles with porcelain knobs, and locks from the doors in that old farmhouse. This little box of treasures he GAVE to me to use in the renovation.
Back at the my old farmhouse that Easter afternoon, we installed the gate I'd purchased nearly a month ago, but which had sat patiently awaiting installation -- taking its turn behind all of the "water related tasks." And after the gate installation, it was on to the task that had us intrigued from the very beginning. The tearing up of the sagging floor of the old farmhouse. The task is not an easy one. Others have performed "updating" over the years, and their updating, though presumably intended to improve the home, actually only succeeded in covering up some problems that should have been addressed. We intend to address them.
The filthy carpet and underlying padding were removed first, exposing OSB board, likely installed in the 1980's or 1990's. Under the OSB was another layer of carpet, this a VERY colorful pattern of reds and oranges and probably from the late 70's or early 80's. Below this layer of colorful carpet we found the original floorboards.....in VERY bad repair, showing damage from both water and termites/insects. Of course we already knew we'd find the damaged floor joists, and that is why we decided to expose the beams and joists by removing all of the first story flooring..... We managed to pull up 2 1/2 sections out of a total of 14 sections in the living room.... The going was much slower than speculated, and I think it will be VERY likely I will STILL be writing about this floor repair a month from now...
At the end of the day, as I crawled into bed and reflected on my Easter, I decided it was a good one indeed. No, it did not include the traditional Easter dinner at Dad's with the rest of the family. But the morale boost of FINALLY being able to install the gate, and start the floor removal in the old farmhouse, was long overdue. The meals and music shared Saturday helped make my Easter weekend a truly lovely one.
Friday, February 5, 2010
An Old Farmhouse -- jcarolek
Last Friday it snowed here. In fact, the weather predictions were so dire early in the week, we moved up our date to transport the "goods" we had salvaged from an old house to the storage unit we had rented. Our plan had been to make that transfer on the weekend, but with bad weather approaching, we decided to change the U-haul rental, and Thursday afternoon, after I had completed my day job, we headed over to the old house and started loading the truck. In anticipation of this day, we had stored all of our goods in the large "shed" on the property. In my mind, I figured it would take us two hours to load the 26 ft U-haul truck we'd rented... a complete overkill, right?
Well, I guess I have a knack for underestimating.... not only did the truck BARELY hold our score, it took us six... yes, that's right, SIX hours to load that truck. Now, understand, the truck could not be pulled up directly to the shed door, because with all of the rain we have had this year, the ground was just too soft. So, we laid carpet strips out from the truck to the shed door and used dollies to move EVERYTHING across to the truck...each trip 100 feet, each way.
Now, when we started the weather was LOVELY -- sunny, warmish...quite delightful. By 8:30 PM when we were pulling out of the driveway, headed to the rented storage facility into which we were to unload this lot, it was COLD! The weather forecasters had not lied - bad weather was on the way.
We parked the truck at the mini storage facility and took a break for some supper. By 9:30, with bellies full, we were at it again. This time, from the truck to the 10 X 12 storage unit... did I mention I have some issues with under estimation? As it turns out, we were quite lucky. There were three storage units open -- one we had rented and the other two unrented. Every piece that came off the truck was stashed in one of the two unrented units as a "holding" place, so that we could create the perfect 3-d jigsaw puzzle that was required to fit all of that stuff in that SMALL space.
Now, we both thought this part of the chore would go faster, and I suppose, technically, it did. Still, we were SO tired and sore that it seemed to take longer. But by 3:00 AM, with the freezing wind blowing, we closed and locked the storage unit door and drove the U-haul back to the rental facility. We were back home by 4 AM, 15 hours after we had rented the truck. And yes, I was up and working by 7:30 AM.....
It turns out, our decision to move that chore up a couple of days was a good one. On Friday the snow started falling and didn't stop until Sunday. We were snowed in. We spent Sunday digging ruts to get out of our driveway, but did not actually try to get out until Tuesday...and Tuesday I had to get out... I had to close on the purchase of an old farmhouse.
Now the purchase of this old (1880) farmhouse, was not the smoothest of purchases, but I was determined to see it through. I will, in the next year or so, be selling my house and downsizing. Knowing this inevitability, I have been on the lookout for an old farmhouse I could use as a project and eventually, my new home. I found it in December, but wasn't sure until Tuesday I would actually end up owning it.
So Tuesday we took the first drive out of our driveway, down the unplowed dirt road to the unplowed paved road, and finally to the plowed and clear main road. We drove to the old farmhouse for the final walk-through with the real estate agent and then on to the closing...
The farmhouse is on nine and half acres and sports a detached, large, new (2003), multi-car garage with a "game room" upstairs... this game room, I suspect, will become my apartment for a year or so while we work on the project... the house has a lot of character, but needs a lot of work ("TLC" in real estate advertising lingo). It's a little farm, to be sure, but it will be a farm again soon....
And so, in a month or so, when the snow decides to give us a break already (it is snowing again as I write this), we will, once again, be visiting and hauling all of our salvage from the rented storage unit to this old house.... and the fun will really begin!
Well, I guess I have a knack for underestimating.... not only did the truck BARELY hold our score, it took us six... yes, that's right, SIX hours to load that truck. Now, understand, the truck could not be pulled up directly to the shed door, because with all of the rain we have had this year, the ground was just too soft. So, we laid carpet strips out from the truck to the shed door and used dollies to move EVERYTHING across to the truck...each trip 100 feet, each way.
Now, when we started the weather was LOVELY -- sunny, warmish...quite delightful. By 8:30 PM when we were pulling out of the driveway, headed to the rented storage facility into which we were to unload this lot, it was COLD! The weather forecasters had not lied - bad weather was on the way.
We parked the truck at the mini storage facility and took a break for some supper. By 9:30, with bellies full, we were at it again. This time, from the truck to the 10 X 12 storage unit... did I mention I have some issues with under estimation? As it turns out, we were quite lucky. There were three storage units open -- one we had rented and the other two unrented. Every piece that came off the truck was stashed in one of the two unrented units as a "holding" place, so that we could create the perfect 3-d jigsaw puzzle that was required to fit all of that stuff in that SMALL space.
It turns out, our decision to move that chore up a couple of days was a good one. On Friday the snow started falling and didn't stop until Sunday. We were snowed in. We spent Sunday digging ruts to get out of our driveway, but did not actually try to get out until Tuesday...and Tuesday I had to get out... I had to close on the purchase of an old farmhouse.
Now the purchase of this old (1880) farmhouse, was not the smoothest of purchases, but I was determined to see it through. I will, in the next year or so, be selling my house and downsizing. Knowing this inevitability, I have been on the lookout for an old farmhouse I could use as a project and eventually, my new home. I found it in December, but wasn't sure until Tuesday I would actually end up owning it.
So Tuesday we took the first drive out of our driveway, down the unplowed dirt road to the unplowed paved road, and finally to the plowed and clear main road. We drove to the old farmhouse for the final walk-through with the real estate agent and then on to the closing...
The farmhouse is on nine and half acres and sports a detached, large, new (2003), multi-car garage with a "game room" upstairs... this game room, I suspect, will become my apartment for a year or so while we work on the project... the house has a lot of character, but needs a lot of work ("TLC" in real estate advertising lingo). It's a little farm, to be sure, but it will be a farm again soon....
And so, in a month or so, when the snow decides to give us a break already (it is snowing again as I write this), we will, once again, be visiting and hauling all of our salvage from the rented storage unit to this old house.... and the fun will really begin!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
If You Don't Have to Go Outside -- STAY IN! -- jcarolek
Yesterday was a "snow day" here. We don't have a whole lot of them in these parts, but at least once a year we can count on a couple of inches of the white stuff falling. Friday night it started snowing and when all was said and done this morning, the tally was in excess of eight inches. Eight inches isn't a lot of snow to those who get dumped on regularly, but in these parts, eight inches of snow translates into "round the clock" news coverage....
Nevertheless, I endured the monotony of their delivery as I focused on a more interesting "indoor activity." Facebook.
Now, to be honest, I know not what I am dong in the great world of Facebook. I don't farm, I don't engage in pillow fights, I don't send hearts and all of the other cool things I receive from others. No, I just stumble around trying to understand this strange land of friends of friends. Yesterday, egged on by the friend request I received from my first roommate in college WAAAYYYY back in 1976, I started trying to find some of MY old friends from high school and college.
It became clear to me, in only a very few searches, that ALL of my friends have VERY common names... there must be a thousand Laura Mathews, and Linda Sullivans out there. I tried narrowing it down by school, and such, but with little luck. Then I tried an old friend from one of my math classes in high school. His name was not so common, and lo and behold, I found him.... the over achiever is a Plastic Surgeon, with very little hair remaining from his once abundantly thick and curly locks, but still sporting the smile I remember.....it brought back memories of Mr. Dale's class... the short, chubby math teacher who was the butt of Steve's cartoons...hand drawn back in those days before personal computers... I still recall the one with Mr. Dale chasing after butterflies with a butterfly net...in a diaper... cute, since Mr. Dale was also the tennis coach... the butterfly net in place of the tennis racket was nice touch.... still, I doubt Steve would even remember me.... I sent no friend request.
Next I looked for an old boyfriend, my first "official boyfriend." He'd always been quite gregarious, and I fully expected to find him with 500 friends on Facebook. I found two of his brothers, but not him. I thought that odd. His brothers were always very low key while Roger was always vying for the spotlight. I decided to go out on the Web... that place outside of Facebook, where I find all kinds of interesting tidbits. I fed Roger's name into the search engine and was immediately rewarded with possibilities. The first few were not the one I knew, too old, too young, etc. But, about halfway down the page I found the story that closed that chapter forever. It seems Roger had been found dead in October 2008 -- found by his roommate when he did not return home from his nightly walk with his dog... a sad ending to a life... the newspaper stories said the death was under investigation, but that no visible signs of trauma were found. I found nothing else.
I found an old friend from my childhood days in England and another from my college days in Florida and sent them friend requests. I'm still looking for my old friends with the very common names. At any rate, I spent a LOOOONNNNG time doing all of this research, and the only saving grace was that I also managed to get six loads of laundry done, and made three meals so we could keep up our energy for the work that was ahead of us.....we would NOT be able to put off the snow shoveling, once the weather cleared....
Today, bright and early, we were out there, with garden shovels, because we don't OWN a snow shovel... we cleared two ruts to the cul-de-sac....each rut extends the entire length of the driveway....in excess of 400 feet....
My back is sore and my arms are sore. And I realized I COULD have just stayed inside... I mean, I didn't HAVE to go outside, did I? Really?
So tonight, as the weather person incessantly reminded me, the snow that melted will turn to ice, and my ruts will be treacherous... but I really don't care, considering the 400+ feet of ruts we dug only lead to a cul-de-sac and another 3/4 mile of uncleared gravel road before I could EVER get to a paved road... which MIGHT be cleared.... and I DON'T have to get out until Tuesday.... what WAS I thinking??? I could have spent another day inside, vegging out at the Facebook website..... (yeah, but then I would never have be able to take pictures of the dog running on the frozen pond, and I wouldn't have "RUTS!")
- of the vehicles in the ditches
- of the children playing in the snow
- of the dogs playing in the snow
- of the news crew "working" er, playing in the snow
- of the vehicles in the ditches
- of the announcer reminding us "if you don't have to go out, STAY INSIDE!"
- of the vehicles in the ditches
Nevertheless, I endured the monotony of their delivery as I focused on a more interesting "indoor activity." Facebook.
Now, to be honest, I know not what I am dong in the great world of Facebook. I don't farm, I don't engage in pillow fights, I don't send hearts and all of the other cool things I receive from others. No, I just stumble around trying to understand this strange land of friends of friends. Yesterday, egged on by the friend request I received from my first roommate in college WAAAYYYY back in 1976, I started trying to find some of MY old friends from high school and college.
It became clear to me, in only a very few searches, that ALL of my friends have VERY common names... there must be a thousand Laura Mathews, and Linda Sullivans out there. I tried narrowing it down by school, and such, but with little luck. Then I tried an old friend from one of my math classes in high school. His name was not so common, and lo and behold, I found him.... the over achiever is a Plastic Surgeon, with very little hair remaining from his once abundantly thick and curly locks, but still sporting the smile I remember.....it brought back memories of Mr. Dale's class... the short, chubby math teacher who was the butt of Steve's cartoons...hand drawn back in those days before personal computers... I still recall the one with Mr. Dale chasing after butterflies with a butterfly net...in a diaper... cute, since Mr. Dale was also the tennis coach... the butterfly net in place of the tennis racket was nice touch.... still, I doubt Steve would even remember me.... I sent no friend request.
Next I looked for an old boyfriend, my first "official boyfriend." He'd always been quite gregarious, and I fully expected to find him with 500 friends on Facebook. I found two of his brothers, but not him. I thought that odd. His brothers were always very low key while Roger was always vying for the spotlight. I decided to go out on the Web... that place outside of Facebook, where I find all kinds of interesting tidbits. I fed Roger's name into the search engine and was immediately rewarded with possibilities. The first few were not the one I knew, too old, too young, etc. But, about halfway down the page I found the story that closed that chapter forever. It seems Roger had been found dead in October 2008 -- found by his roommate when he did not return home from his nightly walk with his dog... a sad ending to a life... the newspaper stories said the death was under investigation, but that no visible signs of trauma were found. I found nothing else.
I found an old friend from my childhood days in England and another from my college days in Florida and sent them friend requests. I'm still looking for my old friends with the very common names. At any rate, I spent a LOOOONNNNG time doing all of this research, and the only saving grace was that I also managed to get six loads of laundry done, and made three meals so we could keep up our energy for the work that was ahead of us.....we would NOT be able to put off the snow shoveling, once the weather cleared....
Today, bright and early, we were out there, with garden shovels, because we don't OWN a snow shovel... we cleared two ruts to the cul-de-sac....each rut extends the entire length of the driveway....in excess of 400 feet....
My back is sore and my arms are sore. And I realized I COULD have just stayed inside... I mean, I didn't HAVE to go outside, did I? Really?
So tonight, as the weather person incessantly reminded me, the snow that melted will turn to ice, and my ruts will be treacherous... but I really don't care, considering the 400+ feet of ruts we dug only lead to a cul-de-sac and another 3/4 mile of uncleared gravel road before I could EVER get to a paved road... which MIGHT be cleared.... and I DON'T have to get out until Tuesday.... what WAS I thinking??? I could have spent another day inside, vegging out at the Facebook website..... (yeah, but then I would never have be able to take pictures of the dog running on the frozen pond, and I wouldn't have "RUTS!")
Monday, December 28, 2009
Mom's Famous Cheeseballs -- jcarolek
Christmas Eve, after midnight Mass, as I was packing up my guitar, preparing to return home, one of my fellow choir members approached me. In her hand she carried a decoratively wrapped package... something in cellophane, tied with a Christmas ribbon. She presented it to me, informing me that this was not just any cheese ball, but her "mother's FAMOUS cheese ball." Well, of course, I thanked her for her gift and assured her I looked forward to tasting it.
On my way home from church I pondered the notion of Hilary's mother's FAMOUS cheese balls. I wondered really how famous they were. I mean, I suppose I've heard others use that expression similarly over the years, and never thought twice about it. But this night I DID think twice about it and wondered how many people had tasted those cheese balls, how many approving tasters did it take to constitute FAMOUS?
And then my mind traveled to the dishes for which my own mother is famous. The first that came to mind was my favorite dish as a youngster. Spaghetti. Now, as an adult, I have no idea how I became such a fan of spaghetti, considering my mother's recipe for the sauce was most decidedly NOT Italian. I don't know where she found the recipe I knew as spaghetti sauce, but I DO know we, my siblings and I, took over cooking when I was about 14 and we quickly changed the recipe. The basis for her spaghetti sauce was Campbell's Tomato Soup. Seriously. I'm still a huge fan of spaghetti, but in my sauce recipe, I use tomato sauce... Still, I suppose Mom's FAMOUS spaghetti sauce was just that....FAMOUS...or, at least "memorable."
Another famous recipe I associate with my mother is her meatloaf. She made meatloaf that I really liked. The ground beef, no doubt stretched with bread crumbs as far as a person could stretch such a thing, always held a couple of hard boiled eggs, hidden within the loaf. When we cut a slice of meatloaf, the slice of boiled egg in the center of the meat was always very appealing to me. I was never served meatloaf like this at any of my friends' houses. When I grew up and married, my husband went on record that boiled eggs did not belong in a meatloaf. I grew accustomed to the hard-boiled-eggless meatloaf, and, for the next 17 years, that is how I prepared it.
Another of Mom's famous recipes was referred to as "Mom's Mess." As I remember it, this recipe basically called for all leftovers in the fridge that were not growing mold, cooking them all together in a large frying pan. The flavors were always a little different, but I always liked it. My own family was not raised on such exotic fare as Mom's Mess. No, they needed to have official meals, documented in a cookbook, or at least a meal the other kids at school would recognize by name.... they just don't know what they were missing.
When I arrived home from church on Christmas Eve, I placed Hilary's mother's FAMOUS cheese ball in my fridge, to be enjoyed later.
Christmas day I traveled to my sister's and we shared a wonderful meal with her. It was lasagna, though, I would guess, not her famous lasagna. We spent the night and the next day traveled to eat brunch with Mom and my brother and his family...in a restaurant...Mom's new version of FAMOUS... we always eat at this diner when we are visiting her. She no longer cooks any of her famous meals for us. Finally, that evening we traveled to Dad's for another family get-together and meal. There we were treated to my stepmother's FAMOUS standing rib roast, Yorkshire pudding, carrots, peas and mushrooms, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy.... and for dessert, her even MORE famous, trifle... YUMMY!!
The over-eating now behind me by at least a day, I decided to cook an old stand-by for dinner tonight. In a nostalgic mood, I decided a hearty meatloaf, with baked potato and gravy was what I wanted. Now, out of the non-hard-boiled-egg meatloaf requirement marriage for over ten years, I took great pleasure in hiding the two boiled eggs in the meat. Inspired further by my friend's mother's meatloaf recipe, one that is traditional in the Czech Republic, I added a hotdog, cut in thirds, also burying them in the ground beef. I did not have the dill pickles she also stuffs in her meatloaf, so, mine went into the oven, pregnant only with the hotdog and the boiled eggs. The meal was just what I was after.
And tonight, as my midnight snack, I think I will take a taste of that famous cheese ball that got me thinking and remembering those famous recipes of my own childhood.
On my way home from church I pondered the notion of Hilary's mother's FAMOUS cheese balls. I wondered really how famous they were. I mean, I suppose I've heard others use that expression similarly over the years, and never thought twice about it. But this night I DID think twice about it and wondered how many people had tasted those cheese balls, how many approving tasters did it take to constitute FAMOUS?
And then my mind traveled to the dishes for which my own mother is famous. The first that came to mind was my favorite dish as a youngster. Spaghetti. Now, as an adult, I have no idea how I became such a fan of spaghetti, considering my mother's recipe for the sauce was most decidedly NOT Italian. I don't know where she found the recipe I knew as spaghetti sauce, but I DO know we, my siblings and I, took over cooking when I was about 14 and we quickly changed the recipe. The basis for her spaghetti sauce was Campbell's Tomato Soup. Seriously. I'm still a huge fan of spaghetti, but in my sauce recipe, I use tomato sauce... Still, I suppose Mom's FAMOUS spaghetti sauce was just that....FAMOUS...or, at least "memorable."
Another famous recipe I associate with my mother is her meatloaf. She made meatloaf that I really liked. The ground beef, no doubt stretched with bread crumbs as far as a person could stretch such a thing, always held a couple of hard boiled eggs, hidden within the loaf. When we cut a slice of meatloaf, the slice of boiled egg in the center of the meat was always very appealing to me. I was never served meatloaf like this at any of my friends' houses. When I grew up and married, my husband went on record that boiled eggs did not belong in a meatloaf. I grew accustomed to the hard-boiled-eggless meatloaf, and, for the next 17 years, that is how I prepared it.
Another of Mom's famous recipes was referred to as "Mom's Mess." As I remember it, this recipe basically called for all leftovers in the fridge that were not growing mold, cooking them all together in a large frying pan. The flavors were always a little different, but I always liked it. My own family was not raised on such exotic fare as Mom's Mess. No, they needed to have official meals, documented in a cookbook, or at least a meal the other kids at school would recognize by name.... they just don't know what they were missing.
When I arrived home from church on Christmas Eve, I placed Hilary's mother's FAMOUS cheese ball in my fridge, to be enjoyed later.
Christmas day I traveled to my sister's and we shared a wonderful meal with her. It was lasagna, though, I would guess, not her famous lasagna. We spent the night and the next day traveled to eat brunch with Mom and my brother and his family...in a restaurant...Mom's new version of FAMOUS... we always eat at this diner when we are visiting her. She no longer cooks any of her famous meals for us. Finally, that evening we traveled to Dad's for another family get-together and meal. There we were treated to my stepmother's FAMOUS standing rib roast, Yorkshire pudding, carrots, peas and mushrooms, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy.... and for dessert, her even MORE famous, trifle... YUMMY!!
The over-eating now behind me by at least a day, I decided to cook an old stand-by for dinner tonight. In a nostalgic mood, I decided a hearty meatloaf, with baked potato and gravy was what I wanted. Now, out of the non-hard-boiled-egg meatloaf requirement marriage for over ten years, I took great pleasure in hiding the two boiled eggs in the meat. Inspired further by my friend's mother's meatloaf recipe, one that is traditional in the Czech Republic, I added a hotdog, cut in thirds, also burying them in the ground beef. I did not have the dill pickles she also stuffs in her meatloaf, so, mine went into the oven, pregnant only with the hotdog and the boiled eggs. The meal was just what I was after.
And tonight, as my midnight snack, I think I will take a taste of that famous cheese ball that got me thinking and remembering those famous recipes of my own childhood.
Friday, December 25, 2009
A lovely Tree -- jcarolek
I played and sang at "midnight Mass" last night. Now, unlike the years when I was raising my children, "midnight" is actually 9:00 PM. By midnight, everyone is back home, completing their Christmas celebrations in their own personal traditional ways. So it was that I showed up at the church at 8:00 PM with the idea I would have a few minutes to tune my guitar before the pre-Mass Christmas carols began at 8:30. To my surprise, the church was dark, and locked, permitting entry to nobody who did not hold a key. I thought this strange. Yes, I understand the earlier Mass had ended and those who would be returning for the midnight Mass had taken their opportunity to get a meal, locking up when they left the church. Still, on Christmas, I somehow thought it odd to find the doors locked.
I spent the 15 minutes I had to wait for a key-holder to arrive, chatting with our pianist, who had actually shown up an HOUR before I did, with the expectation of being able to set up his recording equipment to record the music. We had a nice, if cold, chat while we waited. Then it was the usual mad dash to get ready for the start of the caroling and we were underway.
The music was lovely, the service was lovely, and the tree was lovely. The tree, probably 12 feet tall, stood in its annual spot in a place between the alter and the choir. It struck me that this lovely tree, adorned with silver decorations and lit with white lights, was lacking a certain community feel it had always had in the years I was raising my children. I wondered about what had happened to that community tradition that had always presented a most gloriously adorned Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.
Back in those days, the late '80's and the '90's, the last Sunday of Advent a pot-luck, Christmas tree decorating, caroling, prayer session was held each year. Families of the parish would bring with them a home-made ornament with which to adorn the tree. Those attending this evening of preparation would decorate the walls of the church with the Christmas wreaths, prepare the little packets that would be handed out just before New Year's with which the parishioners would bless their homes, and set the food up for the feast we'd enjoy when the decorating and other preparations were complete. And the choir would lead caroling after a short prayer session. At the end of the evening, we'd leave the church, bellies full, hearts happy, and the community Christmas tree attesting to the hundreds of personal traditions that made our community tradition.
It has been three years since I actually was able to participate in Christmas Mass at our church, having been traveling each of those three years. So, I was surprised when I saw the very lovely tree, "decorated" in a very aesthetically pleasing manner... but missing that hodge-podge, that confused jumble of tiny-to-huge, hand-made ornaments, to which I had come accustomed. I suppose all things change. I suppose people have other things to do on that final Sunday of Advent. I suppose it IS just a tree, after all. And it really WAS a lovely tree. I just miss that other one.... those nearly 20 years of other ones....
Merry Christmas to all who happen by my post today. May your Christmas be filled with laughter, music, good food.
I spent the 15 minutes I had to wait for a key-holder to arrive, chatting with our pianist, who had actually shown up an HOUR before I did, with the expectation of being able to set up his recording equipment to record the music. We had a nice, if cold, chat while we waited. Then it was the usual mad dash to get ready for the start of the caroling and we were underway.
The music was lovely, the service was lovely, and the tree was lovely. The tree, probably 12 feet tall, stood in its annual spot in a place between the alter and the choir. It struck me that this lovely tree, adorned with silver decorations and lit with white lights, was lacking a certain community feel it had always had in the years I was raising my children. I wondered about what had happened to that community tradition that had always presented a most gloriously adorned Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.
Back in those days, the late '80's and the '90's, the last Sunday of Advent a pot-luck, Christmas tree decorating, caroling, prayer session was held each year. Families of the parish would bring with them a home-made ornament with which to adorn the tree. Those attending this evening of preparation would decorate the walls of the church with the Christmas wreaths, prepare the little packets that would be handed out just before New Year's with which the parishioners would bless their homes, and set the food up for the feast we'd enjoy when the decorating and other preparations were complete. And the choir would lead caroling after a short prayer session. At the end of the evening, we'd leave the church, bellies full, hearts happy, and the community Christmas tree attesting to the hundreds of personal traditions that made our community tradition.
It has been three years since I actually was able to participate in Christmas Mass at our church, having been traveling each of those three years. So, I was surprised when I saw the very lovely tree, "decorated" in a very aesthetically pleasing manner... but missing that hodge-podge, that confused jumble of tiny-to-huge, hand-made ornaments, to which I had come accustomed. I suppose all things change. I suppose people have other things to do on that final Sunday of Advent. I suppose it IS just a tree, after all. And it really WAS a lovely tree. I just miss that other one.... those nearly 20 years of other ones....
Merry Christmas to all who happen by my post today. May your Christmas be filled with laughter, music, good food.
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