Winter seems to bring slower progress on the farmhouse reconstruction than I would have preferred, but we are making progress. Here we are in mid February, just about one year since we engaged the services of our handyman/contractor. In that time he has helped us stabilize and level the structure, replacing beams and joists, walls and floors, and bringing us ever closer to our dream. January was focused on reconstruction in the kitchen area. Now we are adding windows and doors. Today we framed out the new window areas on either side of the chimney in the recently enlarged master bedroom.This will allow us to look out at all four sides on the house from the master bedroom.
Kitchen Reconstruction
New Window Going In
One of our recent "biggest" accomplishments was finally emptying the rented mini-storage unit. Way back in 2010, when we were acquiring the old farmhouse, we'd known we were going to need to make repairs/renovations. Nearby, an 1825 home was being demolished by its new owners, so they could replace it with a modern structure. Through a Craigslist ad, we'd found that they were raising money for the demolition by selling parts that were salvageable. We bid on, and won the entire kitchen, all of the windows, all of the doors, and all of the carpet.....................everything except the kitchen cabinets were essentially new. The kitchen cabinets were probably 30 years old, but were made of solid oak...heavy, and customized to that kitchen.
We spent January of 2010 doing the demolition to get our "prizes," loading all of the goodies into a storage building on their site, while we awaited the closing on our old farmhouse. As Murphy would have it, we did not close in time to get everything moved over before the major demotion of that old structure was to occur, so we ended up deciding to rent a mini-storage unit to house our tons of treasures....for a month...maybe two....
After hauling everything from the original site to the mini-storage, in the freezing, wet night, under the pressure of the impending snow storm, we were exhausted and not eager to move anything again until we moved it to its final destination. The months ticked by, with slow progress on the old farmhouse. The month-to-month payments for the mini-storage changed to quarterly payments.....
Finally, this January, we determined we were ready to bring everything over to the old farmhouse, stacking kitchen cabinets in the living room, awaiting their eventual installation in the kitchen and storing the windows, doors, carpet, etc. in other various locations. And so, on the third week of January, two years after we rented the mini-storage space, we vacated it. One step closer...one step closer.
Mini Storage Unloading
Joe Tempting Fate
One Trailer Load
It's hard to believe it is almost time to start our plants for the summer garden. The plants that have wintered over in the makeshift greenhouse (front porch) are doing very well. The goats and chickens have fared well over this milder winter. We discovered that our goats are happy to eat holly, which means that this winter their diet has been supplemented by our daily pruning of the bazillion holly trees on the property. The woods are taking on more and more of a park-like appearance, as the lower branches of trees are pruned and the underbrush cleared. I'm certain that by the end of next month the goats will once again be "earning their keep" by munching down all of the new underbrush growth that is just about ready to kick into gear.
Happy Farm Animals
Plants Wintering Over in Greenhouse
The chickens are laying eggs every day, which is great. While most of them lay their eggs in the provided "laying boxes," one of our hens has decided she is determined to play egg hunt with us. Every day I have to hunt to see if I can discover her new hiding place. For the past week, I have known she must be laying them somewhere, but was unable to find them. This morning, while I was cleaning their coop, I spied her flying up on the bales of hay stacked at the end of the barn. Now, I had looked there numerously, finding nothing, but, having seen her up there, I dragged the ladder over and went up for another look. Sure enough, carefully wedged between the hay and the plywood wall I found seven eggs... The rest of the day she kept flying up there, looking for those eggs. It will be interesting to see whether she lays there again, or finds another hiding place...
I am also enjoying my new life as "Gami," (pronounced "Gammy") as my daughter has dubbed me. We'll see what Eloise has to say about that name when she is old enough to talk. In the meantime, I am happy to enjoy her smiles, peaceful sleeping, and even her occasional crankiness. My daughter had to have her wisdom teeth removed at the end of January, so I went over to help her with Eloise. I was there five days and wouldn't have minded staying another five, but had to return to my other responsibilities. I am looking forward to a short overnight trip this weekend to spend more time with them, while her in-laws are visiting from France. Later in the week they will all leave for France and be gone a couple of weeks.......first international trip for miss Eloise!
Sleeping Eloise
Mama and Gami Preparing Eloise for Bath
Gami Bathing Eloise
Mama Bathing Eloise
And this week, we will travel to Arlington, VA, where my step-father, John, will be laid to rest. Mom is doing as well as can be expected as she learns to live alone for the first time in over 34 years. She told me she received her "Life Alert" yesterday and that it will be installed/set up this weekend. This will give the rest of the family a little piece of mind, since none of us live nearby.
Meanwhile, we continue our perusing of Craigslist to find those items we need/could use/never thought of but sounds intriguing......... this week's acquisitions included three LARGE lateral filing cabinets, which we are repurposing as "tool organizers." They are HEAVY and, after some experimentation, we were successful in putting them all on wheels, so we can move them around if necessary, without breaking our backs.... now, let's see how long it takes us to actually put them to their intended use......
New Year's Day afternoon, after spending the night and morning helping care for my stepfather, I made the return trip to VA. I knew there was another gap in nursing coverage that was to occur from 4PM until midnight today, but Mom assured me she would be alright giving him his meds during that time....I should go home and take care of my stuff. I had a feeling I'd be returning soon.
This afternoon I called to see how Mom was doing and it was clear she was not as sure of herself with the upcoming gap in coverage as she'd thought...she'd really appreciate if I'd come back and take care of the meds. So I packed up my gear and made the three hour drive. About two hours into the drive, my daughter called to let me know Mom had sent out an email letting everyone know that my stepfather had passed away while I was en-route. I called Mom so see whether she wanted me to turn around or to continue on...she opted for the latter, asking that I help her in the next couple of days making the arrangements for the funeral, etc.
When I got to Mom's house I was happy to see that she seemed to be in a good place. John's passing was a peaceful one, at home, with his wife/companion of 34 years and their three "kitties." He was 89 1/2 years old and had seen a lot, and lived a lot of life. His passing leaves Mom with a definite void in her life, but I am thankful they had such a good long time together.
Mom and I went out to eat at their favorite restaurant. Everyone knows them there....they eat there several times a week and have been doing so since 1984 when they moved to this area. They are treated as family there and it was obvious the folks at the restaurant were genuinely saddened by John's passing. I have little doubt there will be a few of them attending his funeral. Tonight, when Mom went to pay for our supper with a gift card from my brother and his family (an exceptional gift I must say!) the restaurant owner refused it...dinner was on him.
Back at the house the difference from only a day ago was obvious. The dining room which had become the makeshift bedroom still had the hospital bed as its main feature, but the once puffing and gurgling oxygen machine now sat silently in the corner, and the hospital bed was stripped bare. The house was quiet. The three cats moseyed about on soft paws, adding no sound to the suddenly quiet house.
But Mom filled the quiet with talk of what's next, what she loved about John, stories of their lives together, etc. It was a good evening of talk, laughter, and a little bit of teary eyes. I stayed with her until about 10 PM and then headed over to my Dad's and stepmother's to spend the night. I'll pick Mom up tomorrow morning to start the long day of "arrangements." Before I head to bed myself, I wanted to write about what I found to be some of John's most amazing talents.
From the time I first met him, until the very end, John would sit down on the couch, and within a few minutes, be nodding off. Mom, never at a loss for words, would fill every waking hour with "conversation." John would snooze as Mom would share her thoughts, stories, tales, etc. Invariably, Mom would get to a point in a story she was trying to tell, that would require clarification.... "what kind of car was Tom driving when he met us at the restaurant in 1993?" (or some other completely irrelevant detail). Mom would ask this question in the middle of her story, and John would immediately awaken from his nap, answer the question correctly and without hesitation, and then drift back off to sleep. It was truly bewildering how he could keep up with her stories even as he slept.
The other talent that amazed me was his ability, within a very short time of meeting a person, to discover someone they knew in common. Time and again he'd meet one of my friends and chat with them for a few minutes only to discover he'd attended school with one of their relatives, or had been shipmates in the Navy with one of their friend's father. Even when he met Joe, he soon established that he knew a guy Joe knew from his work in Yosemite....the world simply was a very small place to John and he never forgot a person. When I remarked about this to Mom this evening, she said that he was always truly interested in the people he met, and always wanted to keep in contact....their Christmas card list is over 600 names long....
John's passing means a new era for Mom. I don't know what the future holds for her, but I know that the past 34 years have been good ones, and for that I am very happy. I am glad to have been able to know John. He touched a lot of lives and will be remembered for a long time. I am very happy that he passed peacefully, and that his was neither a prolonged illness, nor a sudden accidental death. Passing is never easy for those left behind, but Mom was able to help him pass the way he wanted to...at home, with his loved ones.
Rest In Peace John.
From the Occasion of His 85th Birthday Party
John Meeting the Youngest Family Member Eloise 12/20/2011
We weren't planning on any big deal for New Year's Eve this year. We spent the day piddling around place, insulating the well house, repairing a flat tire on one of the mowers, and that type of thing. It was just a slow, relaxing day, a little sad, because my dog, Killian, appears to be approaching her end of life. She is, after all, 16 years old, but, well, you know...sad to see the once "forever a puppy" suddenly shutting down. Still, the weather was beautiful, especially for this time of year, and we spent our day enjoying the warmth, before the predicted deep freeze heads our way.
After we ate supper, I called my Mom -- my step father is at home, in hospice, and I wanted to see how she was holding up. Mom is taking this as well as can be expected, I suppose. John is 89 years old and, up until about six weeks ago, was doing pretty well for a man of that age. But after taking a couple of falls in the house, he ended up in the hospital and then rehab, where, after falling again, he was subjected to more testing. The testing revealed that his cancer has metastasized. And so, some ten days before Christmas, the house was made ready to accommodate his hospital bed, and the home hospice care began.
Tonight, when I spoke with Mom, she reported that he'd entered a new phase, different from when we'd visited on December 20th. Then, John had been able to engage in meaningful dialog, though only for a very short period of time. Now, Mom told me, he really was sleeping almost 100% of the time. We chatted for a while, and she told me that he is now having critical care at home, but that, due to the holiday weekend, there were some gaps in coverage.
I've never experienced hospice before. I am learning through Mom's experience, but, being three hours away, it is hard to know how I can help. It seems that one of the major "issues" is that John has to be turned twice daily (at a minimum) to ensure he does not suffer bed sores. This turning is apparently quite painful to him, and so he has been prescribed morphine, to be administered in the mouth, just before they turn him. The problem is that the morphine must be administered by either an RN or a family member. The caregivers that spend 24 X 7 here, when the critical care RN is not here, are not allowed to administer it.
Mom is expected to do the administration of the morphine whenever the RN is not here. While John was still alert, she was able to have him help her hold the syringe in his mouth and help her administer the dosage. But now that he is unable to help, she is on her own. Mom has issues with falling herself, and cannot easily bend over John for the amount of time required to administer the meds....she is scared she will fall on him, or fall backward and end up in the hospital herself.
So, I offered to drive up to MD and "cover" the shift that is being left uncovered by an RN, due to the holidays. The decision was made at 8:00 PM and by 8:45 PM I was on my way.
I'm not a fan of driving at night, and I am most assuredly not a fan of driving on New Year's Eve...nevertheless, it was something I felt strongly I wanted to do to help Mom and John. Thankfully, the drive was pretty easy, and I arrived here just after midnight.
Mom and I sat up and talked about anything and everything she wanted to talk about, until she was tired enough to head to bed...at 3 AM. I think she needed the company as much as anything. Now that she is in bed, I am sitting here in the living room, listening to the mechanical sounds of the oxygen delivery and the CPAP machine, and something that sounds like running water...not sure what that is. John, as far as I know, is unaware I am even here. Sitting right next to his bed is Andrew, the night caregiver - quiet and attentive.
Happy New Year? I don't know. I'm glad Mom is able to grant John's wish to spend his final days at home. I'm glad the "long term care" for which they paid premiums for so long has made it possible for her to grant him this wish. On the other hand, the complete upheaval of the house and their routine, added to the stress of knowing the end is near, is taking its toll on Mom. Still, she remains as upbeat as possible, given the circumstances.
And so, I am spending New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, experiencing something different from any of my previous 53 such New Year's. I'm guessing it will not be remembered as, "my favorite New Year's ever," but, as they say, it is what it is.
My excitement began last Spring. My daughter called to let me know that she and her husband were expecting their first child. This fabulous news meant that I was to become a grandmother for the first time.
Jenn and Ben decided to use a midwife and have a home birth, if at all possible. They researched the options carefully and prepared themselves for that special day.
On Saturday, December 10, 2011, at 3:15 AM, my cell phone rang. As it would happen, I was just getting ready to go to bed, but I saw the number and picked up right away. "Hi, Jenn, what's up?" Jenn calmly told me that her water had broken.
I had a great deal of trouble getting to sleep that night, though Jenn had insisted I should wait to make the drive until after I'd gotten some sleep. She assured me she was not yet in labor. I did get about three hours of sleep and then was up, preparing for the trip to participate in the birth. Jenn had decided she'd like me to make a big pot of spit pea soup while we awaited the new arrival, so, as I headed out of town, I stopped at the local grocery store to pick up the ingredients.
The drive was beautiful. Though it was well into December, the temperatures were more fall-like, with a crisp blue sky and bright sun. I took pictures along the way, wanting to remember the weather the day my first grandchild was born.
Heading out of Gloucester
A Peaceful Two Lane Road
Lovely Trees and Fences
Glorious Blue Skies
Arriving at Ben and Jenn's House
When I arrived, early afternoon, they were still waiting for "real" contractions to begin. Jenn and Ben had decided they'd take this time to find a Christmas tree and decorate it -- their first Christmas tree in their new home. So we all got in their van and headed out to find the tree. It didn't take long and within a couple of hours we were back at the house, the tree trimmed and in place, and strung with Christmas lights. Decorating more would have to wait until later.
First Christmas Tree
We ate the split pea soup I'd made, and decided to go to bed early, hoping Jenn could get some rest while the contractions were still irregular and tolerable. I slept until 5 AM when I awoke to the smells of delicious Italian food....it seems Jenn had slept until 1 AM and awakened with regular contractions...so she decided to make eggplant parmesan... perfectly logical, right?
Through the morning Sunday, December 11, the contractions continued but were still not very close together. Her midwife visited a couple of times, measuring her progress and ensuring that Jenn and Ben were the ones calling the shots on how long to wait at home before deciding to transfer to the hospital. Because Jenn's water had broken, there was a real time limit on how long they could wait, as the baby was no longer protected by the amniotic sac and risk of infection rose with every hour that passed without giving birth.
Finally, after baking chocolate chip cookies, going for a two mile walk with Ben, their dog Talice and me, Jenn went into hard labor. I was given the job of official "timer." Using my cellphone timer, I kept track of each contraction, how duration, time lapse between contractions, etc. We notified the midwife that Jenn was in real labor, and she returned to the house for the third time that day.
Along Our Two Mile Walk
Timing Contractions
It was interesting to watch Jenn and Ben as she worked through the contractions. For more than eight hours the labor continued, and the midwife began to get concerned. We were approaching 48 hours since the amniotic sac had ruptured, and the baby was still not born. At about 11PM she did an internal exam and determined that for all Jenn's labor, she'd only dilated to 4 cm. With an average dilation of 1 cm per hour, it would be well past the 48 hour outside limit for safe delivery, so they made the decision to transfer to the hospital.
Jenn and Ben Working Through Contractions
Tired but Tender
Talice, Ever Vigil
We arrived at the hospital at just about midnight Sunday night. Thankfully, everyone at the hospital was great and the birthing room was very "homey." Jenn was immediately started on antibiotics and fluids, delivered intravenously, because she was so dehydrated. As it turned out, the transfer to the hospital was a good decision -- it isn't likely the baby would have been delivered successfully without the assistance of the doctors. Jenn's labor continued for over twelve hours more before she finally delivered a beautiful baby. Tears flowed all around as we all laid our eyes, for the first time, on this miracle.
New Baby
The baby was immediately laid, wrapped in a blanket, at her mother's breast, umbilical cord still unsevered, and we watched as the skin color changed rapidly from a dusky blue to a bright healthy pink. After a minute or two, the doctor suggested that Benoit might want to take a peek to see whether the child was a boy or a girl. All of us laughed, because, it had occurred to none of us to check -- so happy had we been with the successful, healthy birth! When Ben pulled back the blanket and looked, his announcement, "Girl" was met with another round of tears of joy. Jenn had always "felt" she was carrying a girl, but they'd both wanted to keep the gender a surprise. They had also kept their choice of names under wraps. So I asked Ben, "what is her name?" And with a soft voice, he replied, "Eloise."
Eloise and Ben (Papa)
I would never have thought of that name. I think it is beautiful, almost as beautiful as the child herself.
Baby Eloise came into the world weighing 7 lbs 10 1/2 oz and measuring 19 inches long. She was healthy and alert from the start, but because of the long duration in the ruptured amniotic sac, she and Jenn had to stay two days at the hospital. Meanwhile, I returned home the day after Eloise was born.
Holding Tight onto Papa's Finger
Tomorrow I will travel back to visit them. Tuesday we will drive up to MD to visit my mother and stepfather, who is at home, in Hospice care as he is dying of cancer. It is a difficult journey to make -- on the one hand, so happy about the new birth, and on the other, knowing we are bidding farewell to and old friend. Life has been nothing, if not eventful these past few weeks.
And, back on the old farm, we have the animals snug in their winter quarters, the house is inching closer and closer to "livable" and we are bracing ourselves for the "real" cold weather which is, no doubt, just around the corner.
Goats and Chickens -- Happy Together
Wintery Sky Over Farmhouse
Judy Stacking Wood
No matter what, though, I have, undoubtedly, received the best Christmas present I could ever hope for ... the start of a new generation!
I'm sitting here in my hotel room in St. Louis, MO and realizing that it is already November. Well, of course, I realized it was November when the month began, but it is finally sinking in on me that we are just about to face winter again (UGH). Ours has been a busy Fall just as was our Summer and Spring. It does NOT look as if we will be in the renovated farm house before the end of the year, but I'm not terribly surprised by that.
Judy Baking Cake for Joe
to eat while I'm in St. Louis
And so we face another winter (our second) in the garage apartment. I'm good with that. To be honest, while Joe was originally certain we'd be in the old farmhouse by the end of the summer, I always figured we'd be three years getting the place renovated before being able to move in. February 2, 2012 we will have owned the property for two years, so we shall see who was closest in original predictions.
Meanwhile, the three ring circus continues to deliver excitement and amazement.
I was required to take a class this summer.... two nighst a week for eight weeks... missing the very best time of the summer evenings, stuck inside, participating in a class that would, hopefully, help me pass the certification exam I was required to take. I had quite an attitude about even taking the exam, much less the class. I figured I'd already paid that price when I was "encouraged" to earn my Master's degree more than ten years ago. Even though I was, at the time, working full time and raising teenaged kids, I complied and earned my degree. Now I was being told the degree wasn't enough...I had to become "certified".... So, grudgingly, I attended the classes; grudgingly, I studied, and grudgingly, I accepted the fact that an overwhelming percentage of those who sit for this exam do not pass it the first time. I resigned myself to the fact that I would be plunking down ANOTHER $600 to take the exam a second time, even before I sat for it the first time.
September 24, 2011, a perfectly good Saturday, was wasted with a very early morning drive 60 miles to Richmond, VA to sit for the 6 hour exam. I chatted with some of the others also sitting for the exam and they'd all been there before... the woman sitting next to me told me the best advice she could give me was to start studying again when I got home from taking the exam...study every day, because I'd be that much farther ahead when I got the results telling me that I had NOT passed... Great, I thought, more studying, YAY (NOT). I took almost three hours to take the exam. I did not stress over it. I knew I would not pass it, but wanted to shake that test anxiety...the second time would be the charm, I figured.
When I arrived back at the farm, Joe asked how I thought I'd done. "I failed, I'm sure, but that's OK. I'm glad I took it." He was the first in a long line of folks to tell me they were SURE I'd passed. How, I wondered, could they possibly be so certain about such a thing? They'd never sat for that exam...they had no idea of the level of difficulty and they certainly are not familiar with my aging brain that seems less and less capable of retaining new and "interesting" facts. But they assured me I would pass. Never mind, the results would be in within 6 weeks and they'd all see I had NOT been being modest.
About four weeks later, on a Friday afternoon, I got the email. UGH, I thought as I clicked to read the bad news. I could not have been more surprised when I read the words, "...are pleased to inform you you successfully PASSED the CISSP exam." I am NOT kidding when I say that I was SO excited.... like a kid.... I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, out to the side yard of the farm house where Joe and the carpenter were installing gutter guards... "I PASSED!!!" To which Joe replied, "I knew you would..." LOL
Joe installing gutter guards
Of course, the really big news is about to happen, and for that I can hardly wait. I had lunch with my daughter about a month ago, in Richmond, after which we spent the afternoon "thriftshopping." She was looking very pregnant, but carrying the baby well. She was just starting into that, "I'm ready to have my body back" stage. Her busy season for her floral design business is just about wrapped up, and hopefully, she will be able to rest a little before the little one arrives. December 22 is the ETA for the new arrival.
Jenn... Not showing her Belly....
you'd never know she's just at 8 months pregnant..
On the farm front, amazingly, I am STILL picking bell peppers from the garden...we are still getting Roma tomatoes and cherry tomatoes and golden berries. I even harvested a couple of late carrots and an eggplant. Some of the plants are still flowering, though I don't think the bees are around to pollinate. We even got a few late figs from one of the fig trees. Joe's tobacco is flowering and he hopes to get some seeds that will be hardier for next year's crop. Most of the flowers have died back, but the marigolds and impatiens are still going strong. I'm a bit surprised by that, since we have had two frosts already.
Our construction projects continue... I'm not sure how many tons of compaction soil, clay, crush and run, and gravel we will eventually spread to get this place the way we want it, but I can certainly attest to the fact that we need to order ANOTHER 20 tons each of compaction soil and crush and run. We are very thankful we happened on the Kubota tractor through Craigslist last August! That little powerhouse has really paid for itself in a very short time.
Tractor after a full year of hard labor!
Our most recent focus has been preparing the winter quarters for the animals. This will be our first year wintering over chickens and goats. We have taken the 125 year old lumber that we cut out of the old farmhouse and have recycled it to create the winter quarters. Joe designed the facility and did the hard work, while I did the easy stuff. It is almost completed, and true to form, when the REAL work had to be down, I left town on business... funny how that "works." (While Joe works on moving the farm reformation forward, I have been jetting around the country for work. In the past month or so I've been to Chicago, Boston, the western part of VA, California, and now St. Louis.) I'm excited to get the new quarters completed and the additional fencing erected, as I have a feeling these moderate temperatures will not last much longer.
125 Year Old Lumber from the old Farm House
And some new OSB
And some Metal over the insulated Roof
And the big news in the old farm house is that we have FINALLY gotten the narrow, twisting stairs out, and replaced with nice, wide, straight run stairs. Naturally, when the carpenter removed those old stairs, exposing the ONLY wall that had not yet been exposed, we found more rotten lumber that had to be replaced. It is truly incredible this place was still standing. When we are done with it, she should make another 100 years easy!
New Stairs Going In
New Stairs with Temporary Treads
Joe Stapling up Netting to Hold Insulation Under Floor in Old Farm House
Joe Installing Insulation in Floor
So, the farm is coming along, little by little, step by step.... one day... one day....
